Consider the power of silence. Until someone speaks, no one but God knows what they’re thinking. Keeping quiet is a great discipline, but what if God is asking you to hold your tongue for a long period of time, even years, for the sake of love, unity, and mission?

‘Normal’ for ministry is messy, confusing, and usually involves a catastrophe you’ve never faced or anticipated. If you want to lead, then manage your expectations, calibrate them by the reality of wounded people gathering in an assembly of wounded others, and trust God.

Resist being hooked by self-protection and a need for affection, or you will lose the ability to leverage the power of the gospel to those who need it most.

You can be very close to people in need without forgetting why God sent you to this local church. You can be free to carry the love and care of Jesus far and wide.

Build the after-action report into the expectations of your leaders firmly, patiently, and lovingly. Hold on to your direction toward quality, and trust that your love for those you lead will conquer their resistance to change and any feelings that they’ve been diminished. Pray that their hearts will allow your love and the love of Jesus to cast out fear. Together, move toward excellence in what you do for Jesus and His people.

From the series, “A Field Manual for Pastors.” We don’t trust knowledge or experience until we feel understood. Your mission is not to defend yourself or prove your point. Your purpose, which is accomplished by the Spirit of God, is to build empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This will reduce their anxiety and bring a radically different feeling to the room.

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Presidents come and go . . . but the Lord Jesus Christ is the same — yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:5

When we hear of tragedy, especially like what has happened in Turkey and Syria, it’s easy to feel paralyzed in our desire to help. Besides giving financially to credible sources, Jesus offers real ways to respond: remember, realize, and recalibrate.

An early lesson God taught me through teaching the Bible to His people was how uncomfortable we are with unresolved tension.

He taught me the difference between our minds and His. It was, and still is difficult, because it requires an admission that I can’t explain Him—the same admission I would seek from those who wish I would “clarify something” following most of my Sunday sermons.

There was one instance in particular where I had just finished preaching on Jesus’ healing of the demonized boy in Mark 9:14-29. One sentence summarized my thoughts:

If you want to follow Jesus, you must learn to fast and pray.

An earnest gentleman approached me wearing one of those “I disapprove greatly” faces every pastor knows too well…

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Jesus taught that evil words—self-serving lies, slander, boasting, flattery, murmurings, and contentions—come from an evil heart. But good words—expressions of love, care, encouragement, confronting, and healing—come from a good heart.

“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:43-45)

Truly wise people never underestimate the power of their words because they know that words can penetrate the soul and last a lifetime.

There are some things I just want to throw in the bin and roll it to the curb, never to return.

Like my threatened male ego, my need to be right, my selfish ambition, my insensitivities to Judy....

This is what I love about being a Christian:

The Lord Jesus set me free from the most garbage-filled person in my life–me!

I don’t have to deal with the same old garbage every week because I’m not who I use to be before I met Jesus.

I’m a brand new person with brand new power that is stronger than my temptations, failures, and weaknesses.

When Judy and I disagree, there are 2 directions I can go.

1. My knee-jerk reaction is to go into the “defend yourself, make three preaching points, and get your way” mode. I often win the argument this way, but it never feels as good as I thought it would. In fact, I feel a little sick inside.

2. The alternate path I can choose is to give up my rights, listen to her, and determine to love her well as Christ loves the church. I usually lose the argument this way. But it always feels better than winning. In fact, I feel a little euphoric.

I have received some great advice from some wise and godly people over the years:

• “For every dollar you borrow you have to make two to pay it back.” (Dick Caddock)

• “Crawl up on your Heavenly Father’s lap and tell Him exactly what you want.” (Jo Stone)

• “You can never go wrong working hard.” (Bill Sandborg)

But maybe the best advice I’ve ever read came from the lips of a Jewish mother, a pretty extraordinary Jewish mother—Mary, the mother of Jesus.

She had turned to Jesus, her oldest son, to help her in a very real personal crisis…

Incredibly, from the very beginning, the church has tried to bully people into believing that there is something better than grace!

Church history clearly teaches us that the primary combat zone for the God’s truth is the battlefield of grace. Religion mistrusts grace; always has, always will.

Those who embrace their religious lies are trapped by their performance-based communities and doomed to lives of defeat and despair.

All who refuse to trust in Him and reject His love by insisting that God count their works as worthy will not receive this love.

Mark rearranged the events of the night Jesus was betrayed to highlight the contrast between the way the disciples, led by Peter, dealt with the reality that Zechariah 13:7 was being fulfilled and the Lord Jesus’ reaction.

• The disciples responded by resisting, boasting, and living out of their strengths.

• Jesus dealt with that same reality by relying on His Father as He watched and prayed.

It was a tough lesson Peter learned that night:

You can’t control God, and He doesn’t need you to fix the things you think are broken in your life. Put down your little sword, Simon Peter. Jesus isn’t impressed. The Scriptures must be fulfilled.

Trusting God is the essential dynamic of Christianity.

Church leaders who teach this to others often don’t trust God nearly enough, especially when it comes to trusting God with our ministry. And in leadership relations, there is not enough selfless strategies to reconcile or enough giving up control.

I have pouring myself into a number of messy church situations. The greatest disappointment on my part, and what always short-circuits the possibility of reconciliation, is when one of the leaders begins self-protecting and politicking to get his or her own way.

“Making Your Church Better” — I’ve come to realize that this is a touchy subject for a lot of church or missions leaders.

There are many reasons for this touchiness, but two issues are very apparent as I interact with these suddenly threatened pastors, missionaries, elders, and staff members:

1. “Better” triggers shame and defensiveness. “Better” asserts that the status quo is imperfect and can be improved. Isn’t this true of any project, organization or endeavor? No true leader should be satisfied with the way things are. Better is the pathway to sustaining success and growth. Better isn’t a personal attack. Better is simply a profession, one that requires more than an opinion, but the courage to believe it’s both necessary and possible.

2. “Make” triggers panic and control because it means it’s up to us. We’re already too busy, overwhelmed, and drowning with demands on our time. Leaders intuitively know that the one who will “make” things better is them. The jarring truth is that if leaders don’t engage in the process of making things better, it won’t happen. They’ve settled for the status quo.

Are you running the race of life as a dedicated disciple of Christ, straining for every opportunity to serve Him faithfully and glorify His name?

Or are you one of those Christian leaders who is trying to persuade the Lord Jesus that you know the path you should be running, the next step, and the final objective?

“Run in such a way that you might win!” – Paul, 1 Corinthians 9:24

It seems to be getting more difficult to keep Jesus at the center of church life.

Many times in my journey as a pastor, I was so immersed in problems of church and culture that my Christian life had become a draining, burdensome pilgrimage.

The demands of leadership had pushed Jesus into the margins.

Fortunately, it didn’t stay that way…