How can I explain to Christians who have never served as leaders in the church the never-ending senselessness of toxic disunifying behaviors that degenerate into church fights?

We say we value unity, then engage in divisive strategies. We say we just want people to come to Christ and grow in Christ, but we sabotage the mission because we can’t get along. We say we want a vision to move forward, but we derail progress by stubbornly clinging to personal agendas or sacred cows. We say we want to reconcile but we insist on personal vindication. We say we want to glorify Jesus but we ignore His teaching on the primary evidence that His claims are true to a watching world—our love for one another that makes us one.

The incongruity never ends. When strained leadership relationships actually reconcile, we’re amazed. When a church just loves one another and makes disciples, we can’t help but stare, startled at the simplicity of its plan. Why is it so difficult to do what we say we want to do—love one another as we follow Jesus and make disciples to Him?

Our outrage beacon.

Or as most counselors describe it, ascribing motive. The outrage beacon shines a self-protective, fear driven light on all situations, words, conversations, and actions. The outrage beacon reads an encyclopedia of meaning into any and every inquiry or objection. The outrage beacon is a conversation stopper and puts intensity into every plan and every meeting because leaders couldn’t give up their rights long enough to move toward a healthy community.

We’ll never have a greater opportunity to understand the impact of our outrage beacon than this Coronavirus crisis offers. Those of us who have no power in decision-making just want our leaders to move toward a solution. Instead, leaders left and right shine their outrage beacon on the problem as they energize their followers to do the same. Facebook and Twitter explode with conspiracy theories and hateful speech.

Interestingly enough, the outrage beacon is a physical part of your brain, your God'-given resource to protect you in times of extreme danger. The problem is that when we escalate an issue our outrage beacon actually shuts down that part of our brain that interacts, considers, evaluates, and thinks. The fear and rage switch is thrown so that we invalidate arguments, dismiss brothers and sisters in Christ, and gather in warring tribes.

We say things like, “I know what he really means when he says that.” Or, “I may be the only one who realizes how desperately dangerous this leader/idea/group is.”

Want to know why so many churches can’t sustain unity for even one generation of believers? It’s because they tolerate or even encourage outrage beacons. When being right becomes more important than loving one another, outrage beacons search the horizon for allies.

Jesus, who created us in His image and recreated us with His life in us, knew the dangers of our outrage beacon. That’s why His Great Commandment isn’t “get your doctrine right” or “preserve your traditions.” His Great Commandment is the only action that unplugs our outrage beacon: Love one another.