Laughing Through the Tears
The apex of God’s creation is humanity. The narrowing of focus in the Genesis account makes the point that all of it is for the apple of God’s eye—men and women, boys and girls. There is great debate concerning the essence of the image of God in the human being, but there is no debate over the specialness of humanity. We are different from the animal world in many ways, but the difference in my mind today is our ability to gain perspective. As one of my seminary professors, Dr. Norman Geisler, used to say, “Dogs are aware; they are just not aware that they are aware.” Animals cannot step outside of themselves in the sophisticated and multi-varied ways we can.
This is a special gift from God with varied and multiple dimensions.
A significant part of this ability to step away from ourselves to see and consider is the experience of humor. Apart from characters in cartoons, dogs don’t make jokes. Humor is good for us. Researchers tell us that laughing benefits our souls, health, and relationships.
There is a part of you that too easily gives in to despair, but as soon as someone smiles or laughs with you, you start feeling better. Recognizing the humor in a situation before dealing with the seriousness of the issue can help you end up in a better place. You’ll find that humor grows your confidence and assures you that you will make it through.
One way Judy and I have seen the benefit of humor is finding something to laugh about during the most tragic moments and experiences of our lives. As my friend Dave Burchett wrote in his blog, when he and his wife Joni faced the trauma of chemotherapy for her breast cancer, it helped to smile, as he termed it the “Slow-Drip Spa.”
An often-overlooked provision for suffering is our God-given capacity to laugh.
Here are some of the “lighter moments” that carried us through the worst days of my own battle with cancer over the years:
Several times a day, we vacuumed my skin off the floor as the leukemia caused me to sluff off my skin in excruciating ways. We would lighten the mood of the task by singing the tune “All of Me” and inserting some of our own lyrics: “All of me, try to vacuum up all of me. Look at me, all over the floor.”
Sometimes, I would break into a commercial plug for the Oreck vacuum cleaner we bought because we wore out several other brands while trying to keep up with my miserable skin shedding. “This is my Oreck Vacuum. I find it best for vacuuming up myself. It is light, except that this one, though originally weighed only 8 pounds, now weighs thirteen pounds, but five of that is me!”
Taking steroids that are for the very sick and not at all like the steroids athletes take gave me ample opportunity to pose in my best “Arnold Body Builder” pose (Judy being the only witness to these episodes). I would flex and look at my swollen, disfigured, and spotted body, saying, “I will pump you up!”
Halloween gave me an excellent opportunity to make light of my condition. “What are you going to be for Halloween, Ed?” “I’m going as myself. I’m willing to be the centerpiece for your Halloween party for a negotiated fee. Any kids you want to scare the daylights out of, bring ‘em by. Even my grandkids are afraid of me!”
These moments of laughter lightened our burdens and kept us from drowning in sorrow. They gave us hope and perspective, if for a moment.
Sometimes, we Christians can be just a little too serious. This is especially true of leaders. Let’s face it: what we do is serious, often excruciating, and heartbreaking. Don’t be afraid of the humor that comes to your heart - expressing it during these challenges is essential. The Lord made humor that way for our own good and the good of those around us. The reason? We are the apple of His eye, the apex of His creation, and the ones He made with an awareness of our awareness.
Recently, I was on a Zoom call with some young pastors, asking them how they felt during their elder meetings…total silence. I could feel their reluctance to express their feelings honestly. Finally, the pastor who is most fulfilled and comfortable with his leaders remarked as he chuckled, characterizing how many pastors feel during elder meetings, “I feel like grabbing a whip and turning over tables,” referring to Jesus entering the temple and driving out all those who bought and sold in the temple (Matthew 21:12-17). Everyone chuckled because we all identified with those feelings. Only then did the rest of the pastors vulnerably share their hearts about their fears and frustrations in working with their elders.
Since I had worked with the pastor who made the remark, I knew he appreciated and respected his elders. I had met them, and they were good men. He was using humor to express not what he actually believed but how he felt.
Of course, we feel like grabbing a whip and turning over tables during and after some meetings. Early in our maturity as leaders, God reminds us of Jesus’s teachings on unity and loving one another. Authentic and effective community is messy. Often, leadership communities are the messiest due to the typically strong personalities in the room, the pressures of significant decisions and facing complex problems and issues, and the ever-present spiritual warfare assaulting the unity of God’s people.
Much like comedians' role in our culture is to surface and expose a problem in creative ways that make us laugh because we immediately identify with their point, humor serves to depressurize some of the most emotionally oppressive circumstances in our lives.
When you and your team find yourselves frozen in a challenge, despairing over a frustrating failure or recurring issue, or simply exhausted, find encouragement in humor. People who know your heart are safe enough to understand that your humor isn’t meant to harm or criticize but to find a smile to carry you through the tears.
Laughing through the tears will help you climb out of the inevitable valleys of despair due to the crushing weight of shepherding a local church.
