The Myth of ‘Back to Normal’
Several times during my decade of being a lead pastor, I had to burst the staff’s ‘Back to Normal’ bubble.
I remember one particular crisis after a moral failure of a staff member. The pain and hurt touched almost everyone in the congregation. It was an all-hands-on-deck moment as we navigated the next several weeks of caring for our people, managing a staffing transition, and processing our hurt. Once we finally came out of shock and everything calmed down, a typical euphoria set in, “We made it through that crisis.” Only I had to remind my staff that while we were dealing with that crisis, the enemy was likely planning another.
“Satan has something else he’s doing right now to disrupt our unity.”
A few days later, we discovered that a young lady who had grown up in our church as a youth group superstar had “deconstructed” her faith while at college and launched a website that was anything but kind to her parents, our leaders, and our people. Our staff and elders were again deer in the headlights at our meetings. Our hearts were again broken, and I didn’t need to say, “I told you so.”
The same pattern emerged several times during the year: a horrible problem arose, followed by hours of meetings and numerous excruciating conversations; at last, we’d come to a final resolution, and then the euphoria. Though they never voiced it, I knew what was in their minds and hearts because that was what I was feeling. “Whew, that’s behind us. Now, let’s get to what we want to do–ministry!”
I would remind them (and myself) that the calm would be short-lived. “We can enjoy this brief peace and hear Jesus say, ‘Well done!’ But the next crisis is just around the corner. Right now, the enemy knows something we don’t – someone’s unhappy in their ministry, some kids in the youth group are doing something that will have repercussions throughout the church, a parent is unhappy with the children’s ministry, or any number of possibilities. We must remember that Satan knows exactly how he’s going to try to use it to divide and discourage us.”
After we settled on reality, we recorded what we learned from the situation so that the next time this particular category of wreck occurred, we would remember the faith lessons and maybe even handle it better.
Like our staff, dozens of sincere leaders are caught in an invisible trap. They feel that now that they’ve overcome an enormous obstacle to doing what they love, all they have to look forward to is smooth sailing. It never happens, and managing expectations can help.
As the actor Ryan Reynolds reflected, “When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.”
Back to normal is an illusion if you expect the happy feelings you have after a minor victory to continue. ‘Normal’ for ministry is messy and confusing and usually involves a catastrophe you’ve never faced or anticipated. The best way I know to manage my expectations in ministry is to spend time in the Gospels, picturing myself as one of the disciples. What they expected never happened.
There are many circumstances where leaders are completely powerless. The desire to realize your dreams for ministry can become so strong that you fight for control, trying to force your expectations to come true. Every time you try, you become more discouraged, and so do those you lead. As long as you run from what will always be true –the church is full of wounded people who wound others, including you – you cannot fully let the Spirit have His way with your ministry. When you’re in the middle of the mess, trusting God for Him to get you through, you ARE doing the ministry God has called you to. Jesus will always redeem what the enemy tries to destroy.
Think about Jesus’ teaching on the mustard seed planted in rich soil. All you have to do is stay there and trust that the soil, the church that Jesus loves and nurtures, contains everything it needs to grow at His pace and in His way. This growth occurs even when you do not feel it, or it seems stymied. That growth often comes from the catastrophes we’ve felt were in the way of our ministry. Be quiet, acknowledge your powerlessness, manage your expectations, and have faith that ‘normal’ is now, and Jesus only works in the now.
If you want to lead, then manage your expectations, calibrate them by the reality of wounded people gathering in an assembly of wounded others, and trust God.
Underlying all of this is Jesus’ promise to the church in response to Peter’s rock of a confession:
“You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” Mathew 16:16b-19
Cling to that promise as your only expectation because Jesus will never let you down.
